June 17, 2014
It’s weird but I love the written word that I feel that words, books, quotes and comic become apart of my psyche. That it becomes apart of me… It becomes apart of the legacy I am passing down to my children. I have noticed in my life I lack commitment to my ideals and that bugs me as a person, who thinks about life and have developed a way of living and what really matter is I want to change it has to be me that changes it….I have been searching for inspiration …a quote won’t do, I want to be inspired to be a better mother, a better wife, a better human, to care for others, to search out my dreams set on a course to achieve them! This is what it means to be alive and I am tired of just existing…I want to live inspired…
I am a 34 year old (almost 35; so maybe this is my mid life crisis:/) 293.2 lbs. mother of 4 children (ages 14,12,7,5) so far so good. I am still cool to my teen but don’t know how much longer that will last. Maybe this is from living a life of always doing what is best for others and never doing for me. Maybe I should just give up and burn my dreams and live comatose the rest of the time I have. Maybe I should just focus and live a shallow life.
So far I have found 3 people who really inspire me in different ways, no these aren’t people that I know personally but people who inspire me nonetheless. My first is Leonard Sweet, he is an author who is a professor of theology. He inspires me to not take what “church” says but to think and that scripture is way more deep than what is on the surface or what your pastor says. I feel like he looks at the whole world, and shows where God is involved. Just someone who inspires me to think of faith and take it out of the box. I love that,
My second is C.M. Punk, the more I learn the more I am inspired. His personal story, is a lot like mine but instead of just thinking I wasn’t good enough or wasn’t worth it. He said “I am worth it! I deserve better and am I am going to find it and I am going to pursue it”. He’s more of the legacy I want my kids to have that you work hard, focus on your dreams, stay clean and they won’t be able to deny you your dream. I am glad that I am still able to be inspired…Thank you Mr. Brooks for it all!
My last is Stephen Amell, but he inspires me physically, I know I have done a blog on this already. The tweets and posts and the videos of him running or doing the par core stuff that he does. I am like I want to do that it looks like so much fun! I really want to get into mma/kicking boxing just because it looks like fun, but to do those things I need to lose weight. I started out at 308 lbs, my biggest problem is being committed to do it everyday. So every time I think about not exercising, I think of Stephen Amell running 10 1/2 miles for my entertainment I am like I can get up and move my body. I know my husband thinks I have an obsession but really it is just inspiration.
All these things just add up to telling myself that I am worth it… That loving myself is worth the extra effort… My dreams don’t belong on a shelf but in my heart pushing myself onward and upward, to inspire others to push to achieve. Let my kids know to always work hard, to keep pushing forward.